(Source: differentplanet)
Mark: So what was the amazing Dobby news that you had to tell me in person?
Gerard: Well, the new is, Mark…
Mark: 10 to the x factor on me, Gerard.
Gerard: Dobby’s got a boyfriend.
Mark: Oh God. Really?
Gerard: His name’s Simon and he’s younger, slimmer, better looking and more fashionable than us.
Mark: (Us? I’m several social ranks your senior. That’s the whole basis of our relationship, Gerard.) So what’s he like?
Gerard: Graphic designer.
Mark: Oh, please. Hello. Can I redesign your logo? Yes. That’ll be a hundred thousand pounds for a squiggle. (Wish I was a graphic designer.)
“She knows about cubits, she’s not comfortable in her own skin — she’s one of me!”
“This is good. This is like watching a porno, except I can’t see anything, I haven’t got a hard-on and I want to cry.”